Organic Doesn't Mean Clueless

This will illustrate, i hope, the power of dialogue. Even with no story, you can glean all the information you need from what two people are saying to each other. I used to go sit in public places like restaurants and coffee shops and just dictate what i was hearing into my AlphaSmart.

This is a real conversation i had on the phone with a friend...



"I really wanted this to be organic this time. I didn't want to force it. But I can't figure out where her head is, I just know that I don't like how she's treating me," she says.

"For whatever reason, you have allowed her to treat you this way, " I tell her. "You have taught her for the last few weeks, how to treat you. You can say all day long how much you don't like it, but everything she has done, you have allowed."

"Well I've blown her off a few times--"

"Yeah? How's that workin' for ya?"

"Well, she could pull a rabbit out of her hat."

"There's no rabbit, and no hat." I sigh into the phone so she can hear it. "You have the truth, and it won't matter what they say about it. Why do you feel you have to make up something? Just tell the truth. Then, no matter what people say or think, you have the truth on your side. You feel you have to mince words and alter your reasons to avoid HER behavior. You are not responsible for her behavior. You have to understand the distinction. Organic doesn't mean clueless. You two have to be on same sheet of music. You've been playing two different songs on two different instruments at the same time."

"I didn't want her to think I liked her too much..."

"What does the degree of liking have to do with it?"

"Well it's a small town--if this were an Internet thing, I would have already had this talk with her."

"So you would be honest about it online, but not in person? This is not about what other people think of you or the situation. It's still about you and who you are."

"Well, maybe she's just relationship-retarded."

"That's not your doing, nor your responsibility to correct, it's only your responsibility to be honest about how it does or does not mesh with what you want in a relationship."

"If I offer her the fuck and she declines, I'm going to give her the fuck off. Then she'll tell everyone I broke up with her, because she wouldn't sleep with me. Then I'll have to say, You Relationship retarded ice queen frigid bitch. I've been so damn organic, I'm a bean sprout--maybe she needs me to take control. If I call you in the middle of the night and say she's in my bed and say I just fucked the shit out of her, I won't be a bean sprout anymore."

"You have a power card, then."

"Yeah, I can say, If I came down to the restaurant, I'm not going to pay for shit. And watch her go, Yes ma'am. I'm gonna turn her out or turn her off. I have three questions I need answers to: One, is she aware of how she is treating me, two, or how she feels about me. Three, will she behave differently outside the house that is a shrine to her ex-girlfriend. Would she be receptive only if I made the move, or would she make a move on me, if she was away from the jumping dogs and the ghost of Carol?"

"Don't give her that part of yourself, she didn't earn it. "

"If this goes awry tonight, I will be dropping her off at her house, and driving straight to the bar to intercept Katie, and then I'll go to St. Louis on that trip I canceled with Justine and get laid by her, and when I get home, Clara will be back and I'll have sex with her too, and then the next day, I'll hunt down that other chickapoo I'd like to go on a date with. And you know I will. There's gonna be some sex tomorrow, even if it's with myself."

"Well. . . godspeed, my friend. I can't wait to hear what happens. It's just like having a Netflix I haven't opened yet."